Just like the tide´s rollin in.....

Can´t believe the dilemma of being sane...
How can one be normal and perfect... and sane...
Impossible...

Here I am...
I feel like a normal girl with an abnormal mind and heart..
And yet people comes to think of me being unserious..
No question about it... I´m one of the most serious human being that I know..
Is it that childish to add some amusement to reality, or what?

With a sense of humour, although a dry one, I´m at least happy to see a new day rise..
Unlike others that starts planning their whole lifetime at sunrise every day...(metaphore)
You create your perfect surroundings, perfect in your eyes might not be in mine...
I won´t judge your illusion..
I´m all occupied in my own..

Mångalen...

Månen är magisk...
Månsken är mystiskt...
Den befaller djuret i oss,
får vårt blod att koka
och vår själ att darra.

Ögonen söker långt bortom det som är synligt.
Tittar djupt in din själ efter något att förtära.
Glöden som lyser i mina ögon är min lust som brinner.....

Djuret har vaknat...
Det hungrar...
Instinkten tar över,
jagar efter tilfredställelse...

Hett och blodfyllt,
doft av spända lemmar.
Aptitretande.....
Hungern river i min kropp.

Vittringen får mina näsborrar att vidgas.
Bytet är nära, för nära.

Det roliga i jakten har startat.
Leken har börjat.
Stryker min kropp mot din, retas...mrrr.
Närgången, mycket närgången.
Hugger efter mig.
Mrrrr... morrar lågt, visar tänder.
NÄrmar mig sakta, stryker mig mot din kropp,
retas... nafsar dig i örat.
Mrrrrr... du morrar och hugger.

Kastar mig över dig,
sätter mina klor i ditt skinn.
Biter i nacken...
Vi rullar runt i ett inferno domderat av lusta.
En lusta som söker mättnad.

Oväsendet får var fågel att flyga sin kos.

River och sliter..
Vi biter och klöser...
Kommer djupare in i varandra...
Slåss så mäktigt vi kan prestera...
Slåss..... tills blodet rinner...
Under ett täcke av månens svala sken somnar vi...
Uttröttade och orklösa...
Mätta....

One of the happiest day in my life...

Holding and feeding a baby tiger at Srirascha Tiger Zoo outside Chonburi, Thailand.
Can´t describe the feeling..... all I can say is it was SENSATIONAL!!!!

GwyddieJen P.I.

This day has been something special...

This is it....

It was about a year ago since I last heard from my very dear friend Victor. I´ve been trying for so long to get in touch with him. But it´s hard ´cause I live about 500 km away from him, he changed his phone number and just forgot to send me the new one then I changed phone number etc.

Well to make a long story short. I haven´t that much effort lately to find him but today I woke up and made hundreds (or at least it feels like it) phonecalls to found out anything about where he can be reached. I called my old school to get the last name of a common friend of ours. The lady in the principals office found one name but it was the wrong one. So I went down to our loaded basement storage and looked thru most of my unsorted boxes and finally found my old yearbook. His name was in there but unfortunantly he wasen´t listed on the web. Too sad ´cause I knew this guy would have Victor´s number.

Instead I made several calls to different municipality offices in Stockholm to make out where he could be working. I got to the right office but with my streak of bad luck the lady who was able to look up the staff directory was on leave of absence to return on monday.

So I told myself to be patient and wait untill next week.

Spending the following hours chatting with my sister I glanced on online profiles in my MSN Messenger and there it was. A blue symbol in front of his alias. I could hardly believe it. He hasn´t been online when I´ve been in a year time. Now he was!!!!!

I sent one message and two and three, four, five and so on but he never replied. Can you imagine the thoughts that went thru my mind. "He hates me" "Someone has kidnapped his profile" "he does´nt want to be my friend anymore".........

It took about 2 hrs before he finally replied.

He had computer on but had left the apartment. I gave a very loud cry when I saw that orange blinking on my computer. .....

I got his number and I nearly started to cry several times during our conversation..... cry tears of joy......

More to come later.......